I'm Back

I was having computer problems but I'm back. Sorry to the few people that read this blog.

Chiflado

Dr's Visit

Went to the doctor for lab results. My t-cell count went up surprisingly, 142 compared to 127 last quarter. I'm still undetectable which is good.

I updated my meds with him and he gave me some scripts for what's ailing moi. Of course I called the pharmacy and they hadn't received it yet. 

Called the clinic to see if they could  resend my scripts. They called it in and of course, they had to special order them. I should get them sometime tomorrow. 

Of course I'll be feeling a lot better tomorrow. I did go downstairs to Oasis for some chicken soup. I wolfed the whole thing. I immediately started feeling better. Broke my fever is what  it did.  I took a shower and had a great nap.

I'm feeling great. I will take my meds when I get them. I'll just save them until next time. 

Chiflado out. 

Ladies Who Lunch

Went to lunch with Mike and Tony Sunday. Eddie wasn't feeling well, he's got a sinus infection. Great I told him, that will give us something to talk about. LOL.

We went to Sam's Burger Joint on Grayson. I should mention that Eddie told me to get him a burger. Which I did out of the goodness of my heart. The selling point for me other than the yummy food is that they serve Pepsi. I had four!

We ate and laughed and talked about Eddie. He's such a character.  

Yesterday he was still under the weather. I called him every now and then to check up on him. He got angry with me telling me that  I text to much and call him a lot. 

He called me a few minutes later to apologize. Well, I will not be calling him anymore. 

Thanksgiving

Anybody that knows me know that I don't celebrate holidays. So what happened this year? I wound up hosting!

Eddie said if I didn't have plans I could go to his home and eat there. Okay said I. He shot for 2,00 p.m. I was happy with that. Then he said 4,00 p.m., long story short, we ate at 7,00 p.m.

Oh yeah, I forgot. He decided somewhere that we would eat in my home. Okay said I. And then he invited a neighbour as well. 

Everything went off okay. The mac and cheese was a bit overcooked, but everything else was okay. I made garlic mashed potatoes. He made the turkey, mac and cheese, and stuffing.

It was funny. Wednesday I went to get some things. Eddie gave me a short list of stuff to get. So there I was getting things and I had to call him several times to ask about the list. I felt like the husband calling the wife.

I've already said it, but if we do this again, he's gonna have to cook the turkey up here. That will cut into running around from home to home. 

I'm glad it's over.

Chiflaco out. 

Busy Day

I did a lot of running around today. I'm exhausted. Went to SAAF to pick up my bus pass for next month.

I forgot. I got all dolled up for my day. I wore jeans that fit, a thermal golden coloured shirt. Hot! Then I wore my winter coat that just looked fabulous on me. Then for the piece de resitance, I wore my beret. I did wear gloves but forgot the scarf. Oh well, too much on my plate. 

Came home for a bit. I didn't eat anything for lunch because I wasn't hungry. Then it was off to the clinic to see my new therapist. I always hate getting used to a new therapist. Lisa was cool. I talked about the depression, the adoption, and my Mom's death. A lot for day 1.

Then I went to Subway's and got a yummy sandwich. Came home and ate that for lunch/dinner. I got all comfy for the night. 

But no, she had other things to do. I went to HEB to get some things. It was a mad house. Tuesdays are usually busy  because of their coupons. Got off the bus and went in and out within 20 minutes. And I got the same bus going home. 

I forgot. This really made my day, month, year. I was at the clinic looking gorgeous and one of the receptionists said that I was looking good. Was it the beret? My head got even bigger.

Another thing I forgot. I went to see my nutritionist and I lost three pounds! She did ask me to take off my shoes and coat and beret. Great for my ego. 

All in all, I had a great day. I don't get many of those. I'm happy. I'm content. 

Chiflaco out. 

Kathy Griffin

Mike and I went to see Kathy Griffin the other night. OMG! What a riot. She was great as usual. Used the f-word, the p-word, and the c-word. 

She picked on everyone including Gov Perry. She also made the comment that I've said before. She said Kelly Clarkson is a better singer than Carrie Underwood. I think Kelly is more quality and Carrie is quantity. 

I had to go real bad I was laughing so much. But I didn't want to miss anything. I held it in and continued to laugh. 

Nice to get out of the house every now and then.

Chiflaco out. 

The Viewing

I'm still thinking about the rosary for my Mom. Very surreal. It's almost a blur. 

I sat with Barbara and Debra as usual. Mom looked good. They really did a good job. She really looked like she was asleep. They just had the viewing and a mass the next day. 

Honey, I worked to room. So many relatives that I haven't seen in like forever. They all knew me and congratulated on my thin look. They also noticed that I wasn't guerro anymore. 

My other niece went up and eulogized my Mom. She also said that my sister was a great caregiver. What? This is the woman that sent my Mom to a home. And did she visit? That's another story.

This woman was leading the rosary. She mentioned that Mom is survived by her son and daughter, and get this, an adopted son! I don't know but everyone I've told this to said that was uncalled for. But that's my family. Again, everybody knew but me. I did find out last year though. 

I still have Barbara and Debra as my family and I'm cool with it. 
This is one for therapy. 

Chiflaco out. 

Death

My Mom passed away last night. Good. She suffered a lot these past two years. 

Don't know any funeral details yet. But I'll be there. Wonder if I'll make a scene?

Chiflaco out. 

The Master of My Domain

The Love of My Life. Here's Jean-Luc posing on the love seat. He's in charge of my life. He's quite the character and he loves me a lot. 

Eddie and Victoria were over yesterday and she took this photo of JL. He loves to pose for the camera. He's not shy unlike me. He behaved while she was here, no biting. Of course he made a new friend. 

He is the Master of My Domain. I'm his human and he knows it. He follows me everywhere and makes sure that I'm there for him. Duh!

He naps with me and is now waiting in bed for me. I just had to post this photo of my baby. 

Chiflaco out. 

Hospitals

What a weekend! First Betty's funeral. I get along with their family than I do with my family. It was great seeing them and we had that rapport that makes one family.

Now Debra's in the hospital. She had hives and had a high glucose reading. She's doing great and wants to go home. She also wants to go back to work.

While visiting her tonight, we got a call saying my Mom was in ICU. It was sad seeing her in such pain. They're gonna put her in a morphine drip and they are talking hospice. I hope she dies because she's suffered a lot.

Will keep you posted.

Chiflaco out. 

Betty

Betty was Debra's mother-in-law. She passed away Tuesday and her funeral is today. 

Betty was a cool lady. She was okay with my gayness and we had a fun and loving rapport. She's been in and out of the hospital for the past few years. I hate to say it, but I'm glad she past away so she won't have to suffer anymore. 

Barbara's gonna pick me up in about an hour for the funeral. I will miss Betty a lot. She had a great sense of humour and we loved to pick on each other. 

Chiflaco out. 

Ambien

For some reason, Humana will only authorize a 90 day supply of Ambien. I need this to sleep. So the clinic authorized a script to another pharmacy. It was out of my way but worth the trip.

Now I have to go to the CentroMed pharmacy on Zarzamora. It's a long trip and takes up most of the day. I was lucky because they revamped their system and I was able to pick it up within an hour and a half. This is quick folks.

All told, I took seven trollies and buses. I left here at 8,00 and got back at 1 p.m. I was a stressed and tired puppy. But I can sleep well for another 30 days.

Chiflaco out. 

Ladies Who Lunch

Went to lunch with Mike and Tony yesterday. When I suggested lunch, Mike asked if he should bring his ball and chain. I said sure and I'll bring mine! That would be Eddie.

We had a nice visit together. Went to Luther's where everything was quite tasty. Eddie and I were talking and nitpicking each other. Tony asked how did we wind up married before they did. LOL. 

Looking forward to the next time. 

Chiflaco out. 

Food Stamps

Interesting. I was getting $16 in food stamps for the month. What with all that's happening in Washington, I will now get $15 a month. 

Is it worth it? Every little bit helps. It's not much but I will use it. Hopefully someone in the know will notice and give me more. And I will win the lottery.

Chiflaco out. 

Chicken Soup

I'm still not feeling well. I called Oasis for some chicken soup today. There's something soothing about soup. I ate it and took a five hour nap. 

I'm sleeping too much, but seems like I need it. I'm ready to go to sleep right now. I feel like I'm sleeping my life away. I wish I could get over this depression, but it's lurking.

Someday I'll get over this and I'll be back to normal. 

Chiflaco out. 

Depression

Don't know why it happens but it does. I can feel a depression coming or it just hits me out of the blue. This one came out of the blue.

I was minding my own business when it hit me and hit me hard. I couldn't stop crying. I'm still depressed but I know why this time. Personal of course. Nothing I would share here.

I've been sleeping a lot lately. These naps keep me in bed thinking. Thinking of a lot of things and one. I've dealt with these feelings for over four decades now. 

Spent the day in bed today. Jean-Luc was beside me and he helps out a lot. I am truly blessed to have him in my life. He keeps me centered. 

I only had toast for dinner. That was all I could keep down. I wake up ready for bed. I hate this. But what can I do? No medications or therapy can help me when I'm blue. 

Nothing much going on. Just stay in bed is all I'm doing. I want to do things but my heart's not into them. 

Chiflaco out. 

Better

I'm doing a whole lot better. I think it was the air filter that was making me sick. It was dirty and had some mold. I just can not believe my readings. Whatever, I'm doing better. 

High Blood Pressure

My readings are still high. Dr Martinez put me on two meds to get it to a normal reading. I check every day to see if I'm doing better. 

Yesterday I went to my PCP. Of course he wasn't there. Dr Martinez is not available for PCP, and Humana named another doctor. I'm not pleased.

I got a wet noodle lashing because of my wrist cuff. While there, I had three different readings. They did say I should get the manual cuff instead. 

I was disappointed. One thing I did notice is that I feel worse at home. Yesterday I felt okay when I went out. But as soon as I got back, I wasn't feeling well again. 

I just got a clean air filter and I hope that will work for me.

Chiflaco out. 

Eddie

Eddie's back to abnormal. He was apparently depressed which made him disappear from sight. I know the feeling. 

He was in the hospital again. This time it was a pneumonia. He really sounded bad when I talked to him. But he's out and he's in good spirits. 

He asked Victoria to look in on me. How sweet. I did go over several times and had a blast. She's real cool and I have bonded with her partner Natalie.

Chiflaco out. 

High Blood Pressure

This is kinda hard for me to believe. My blood pressure has been high for the past two weeks. I didn't know it was blood pressure but I have not been feeling well for a bit.

Eddie came over one day with his cuff and we got a high reading. I finally gave in and bought myself one. Last night my reading was 251/110! Wow! Now I check myself daily and keeping a log.

Went to the Dr's and got a script for yet another pill. I have graduated from a lot of meds and only taking 14 now, compared to 23. I'm happy with that. 

Today I'm feeling a bit better. Still have a headache and dizziness, but then people will say I've always been dizzy! LOL.

Chiflado out. 

Dr's Visit

Went to see my doctor Friday. I went to get a letter allowing me to swim at the Natatorium for free. He gave me the letter with all the info. I've been wanting to go for the past year but could not afford the visits. Hopefully with this note I'll be able to swim and get my girlish figure again.

While I was there I also mentioned my bad right shoulder. It's been bothering me for a while. I woke up one morning with a sharp pain. He gave me a script that seems to be working. 

Also talked about my high blood pressure. I've been good, but lately, I have been having headaches that I think are because of my blood pressure. He also gave me a script for that and we'll see what happens. 

Nothing much going on. Just waiting around to go swim.

Chiflaco out. 

HEB

Went grocery shopping yesterday with Eddie and Victoria and Natalie, two neighbors down the hall from me. That's all we need, two faggots and two lesbians.

We had a blast. Me and Victoria finished our shopping and we had to wait for Eddie. That girl can shop, he bought stuff to last the month.

I also bought a Purina product for Jean-Luc to watch his weight. He likes it so I'm gonna keep on buying the stuff.

Afterwards, we went to a Mexican restaurant on Zarzamora St. The food was amazing. I had a lengua taco and a bean and rice taco. I thought about it afterwards and found it funny for me to get the bean and rice taco when I've eaten that for the past month at home. Anyhoooo, it's a restaurant I would go back to.

Chiflaco out.

Baking

Lately I've been baking as therapy. My friends here have been impressed with my baking. My specialty is carrot cake. They oohed and ahed went they tasted it. I just do it for attention. I like the limelight.

Eddie also noticed that my memory has improved since I started baking. I never keep track of things like that. And another neighbour, Victoria, has also seen a change in me.

I just know that I like following the directions and whipping up something spectacular. I rarely eat any of my creations.

Doug is also a good baker and cook. I guess he does it for therapy also. He's always giving food away and I'm on his distribution list. I just know that I'll enjoy his cooking.

He brought over a vegetable soup the other day and it was so tasty. Kinda caldo de res without the res. I can hardly wait for his next creation.

Chiflado out.

Doug

Doug is an older man I have the hots for. We've been very close and it's this side of a relationship. He's tall, handsome, and white.

We met a councilman the other day and I commented that he looked attractive. Doug said he's my type, tall, handsome and white. I said you just described yourself.

He's also a great baker. He recently gave me a bunt pan and a springform pan. I also have a cast iron skillet he gave me a few years ago.

Eddie and I got on the elevator one day and Doug was there looking for me. He was concerned because we had a lunch date and I missed it. He looked at Eddie and said what's this?

Afterwards, Eddie said he's perfect for me. I call Doug my Silver Daddy. And he gives great hugs. Next time I'm gonna try a little harder. Mike also thinks he's great for me. I didn't know people cared about me that much.

We'll see what happens. We've been very close for the past nine years. It's just a matter of time. He also makes the best vodka martinis I've ever had. One day we had a lunch to go to and we each had about three martinis. I can't believe we went out that day.

I'll keep you posted.

Chiflado out.

Ladies Who Lunch

I treat myself periodically. I eat salads at home and eat smaller portions.

Eddie and I went to Bob's Big Burgers the other day. The food was awesome! I had a 50/50 burger which is Angus beef and bacon. OMG! It was fabulous.

The other thing that I liked about it is they have Pepsi!!! I was in heaven. Like I said, it was a treat.We also had onion rings and fried mushrooms. Again OMG!

I was stuffed. That was all the meal I had that day. We sat outside and people watched. There was a cute guy walking his poodle and Eddie struck up a conversation with him. Ya'll know how shy I am. I would never do that.

We had a great time. Wound up spending like two hours talking and laughing. I would definitely go again and I would recommend it. Here's the link http://www.bigbobsburgers.com/

If ya'll go, I hope you like it as well.

Chiflaco Out

The Majestic

Mike, Tony, et Moi went to the theatre the other day. We went to see The Book of Mormon. It was great and funny. There was colourful language that I could have done with, but it fit in with the musical.

Chilflado

Slow Week

Nothing much to write about. I stayed home all week because of the weather. Plus there's no money for anything.

We had rain most of the week. Everything from drizzle to rain. And I didn't have any appointments.

I watched DVDs. I'm almost finished with The Good Wife. It's great and there are two hot men with tasty noses. Chris Noth is the cheating husband. We remember him from Sex and the City. The other one is Josh Charles. I remember him from Hairspray of all things.

Chiflaco

Insomnia

I did not sleep last Tuesday thru Friday nights. I was a mess. I ran out of ambien and I had no idea how much I needed it.

I was a zombie and just walking in a daze thru this time. I wasn't eating properly which just made it worse.

Humana only allows 90 pills per month. I like Humana and had no problems before. I went to get a new script and told them the situation.

Centromed is my clinic and the director said they would pay for the script. I wasn't able to get them until Saturday. How exciting.

I took two to be on the safe side. I was finally able to get some sleep. I've even been able to take naps again. I was a wreck, but I'm slowly catching up on things. Thank goodness for drugs.

Pepsi

Everyone who knows me knows that I LOVE Pepsi. I first had one in Mexico and it was so sweet. The American version is still great but not as much as the Mexican version.

One of my criteria when I go to a restaurant is if they have Pepsi. If they say no, I order water. I haven't had a Pepsi in about two months.

So I was pleasantly surprised that two of my restaurants serve Pepsi, Sam's Burger Joint and Lone Star Cafe on the River Walk. I know I'll be going there more often, when I have moolah.

I'm unwell. :-)

Chiflaco out.

Eating

From one extreme to another.

Last Friday I was feeling unwell, that's what we prefer to call it. I was clammy, headache, dizzy. I couldn't figure what the problem was.

Somehow, I made the realization that I hadn't eaten all day. Lightbulb. Duh. I ate rice and beans and started to feel better. So now I know for next time.

Today I was schlepping around taking care of business. I've been in a chinese mood for a while, so I went to a buffet.

Oink, oink. I ate more than I should have. I started feeling unwell before I paid. So I walked to the bus stop and the bus was right there. That hardly ever happens.

I came home and I had to regurgitate. So guess what? I felt a whole lot better afterward. And then I had a major headache. I lay down to compose myself and it took a while to get back in sync.

I still have the headache and I'm dizzy, although people would say I'm always dizzy. LOL. I feel so bloated though. I feel like I gained 50 lbs.

So I'm gonna take some Tylenol and call it a night. Hope everything goes well for me.

Chiflaco out.

Luther's

It's starting to look like a weekly thing for us. Mike and Tony and Eddie and moi get together on Sunday's after church. Mike and Tony go and they pick us up after church.

We went to Luther's on Main St. Great food and gay friendly. And for some reason, we keep getting the same ditsy queen as Eddie says.

The waitress queen is a little forgetful at times. And we've had him every time we go. We had a great time of course. Good food and great companionship.

We laughed and ate and caught up on each other. Wonder where we'll go next.

http://www.lutherscafe.com/

Chiflado out.

PO'd

Sometimes I just want to give up on everything. What's the point of taking my meds? I feel healthy  most of the time.

Lately I've had a headache that won't go away. Every little thing might be big in the world of AIDS.

I'm pissed off at the world. I'm still depressed, but that's been going on for about 50 years. I don't think I'll ever get rid of that.

And then there's the financial aspect. In May Medicare started taking my premium out of my check. That means I'm short on cash for about $150. That's really hurting.

I get the minimum groceries. I do tend to buy what I want rather than the things I need. Still up the creek.

I have about several hundred dollars I have to pay for physical therapy. I was going to an agency that promised me they would pay my co-pays. Of course they weren't paying afterall.  

I thought nothing of it until I asked the agency if they were gonna be able to pay. I have to talk to my manager about it. Meaning no.

And then my therapist reprimanded me for something I didn't do. Like I said, I got  pissed off and stopped my therapy. I don't want anything to do with them.

I just want to get it over with. I went to see my psychiatrist today and got scripts for my mental situation. Again, why bother? I just go with the motion here.

They always ask if I have a plan. Duh?! Of course I do. I just don't have the courage to follow through. She asked if I have thoughts of killing myself. Again, duh?

I'm just tired of it all. Every little thing might be something big. I just want to give up. I'm tired. There's no point.

Chiflado out.

Lap Cat

Jean-Luc has been very needy lately. He jumps on the recliner and lays in my lap and starts purring. He also jumps in my lap when I'm at the computer. Gotta love the little goober.

He likes to nap on the loveseat, but as soon as I go to nap, he follows my and lays down next to me. He's such a sweet heart.

And I love him very much.

Dr's Visit

Went to get my labs results. My t-cell count's gone down again. I have 117 t-cells. They've been going down for the past year.

While I was in the waiting room, Tyler came by to get a script. Tyler is a hot Black man who I've fantasized about. He's sporting a beard and his hair is bushy compared to the last time I saw him.

He did not recognize me. It took him a while and then his eyes popped out. You're looking good. I said better! LOL.

There was also a muscled hottie waiting to see the doctor. This guy was hot and he wore a tank top that showed his nipples. Yum!

So Tyler leans over and asks who's the eye candy? I said he was my future ex-husband which made us both laugh. Nice to see him as always.

Chiflaco out.

Eddie

For some unknown reason, Eddie is not talking to me. We were so close we could finish each other's sentences.

He is very distant. I went to his apartment the other day to share some food. He held the door open for me to leave.

He was a force that came out of nowhere and swept me off my feet. I know, I have to talk to him, but he always has an excuse.

I miss him. We had a great rapport with each other. I have feelings for him which is scary. I need him in my life.

Chiflaco out

Sam's Burger Joint

Went out Sunday for lunch with Mike and Tony and moi and Eddie. We had a blast of course.

The selling point for me is they serve Pepsi. In case ya'll don't know, I love Pepsi. When I go to restaurants I always order Pepsi, if they don't have it I'll just order water.

Anyhoooo, Sam's has Pepsi so I was satisfied going in. I had the mushroom Swiss burger. This is my signature food. I also have it at Micky D's.

Well, we visited and talked and ate. Mike and Tony and moi devoured our burgers. Eddie took half home.

Let's see where we go next.  I'm thinking EZ's in Alamo Heights or HomoHeights as we lovingly call it.  

Chiflaco

Skinny!?!?!?

Wow! Somebody described me as the tall skinny guy! Talk about a compliment. I still want to lose some more. Wonder how I'll be described when I get to my desired weight.

It's kinda weird when I can feel my ribs. And I can see my clavicle. I just know I feel good, except for my depression.

Chiflaco

Nutritionist

Went to get my lab results. The doctor was on-call and didn't know when he'd be back. So I rescheduled.

While there, I checked in with the nutritionist, Jeanne. I gained 2 pounds since my last visit. She also gave me some Ensure, a therapeutic nutrition. They are quite tasty. She's also able to get me a three-month supply. And I do share them with Mike and Eddie. We look out after each other.

Chiffie out.

Birthday Boy

Happy 38th Birthday to hottie Brazilian Rodrigo Santoro. He's done some movies, but his most memorable role was in 300.

Ladies That Lunch

Went to Luther's the other day. Mike and Tony and Eddie and I went for great food.

We had a blast. Stayed almost two hours yakking away. I had the Angus hamburger that was very tasty.

I hardly see Mike anymore. And now that he has a beau, more so. I like Tony and I understand their situation.

Eddie talked to Tony and Mike and I chatted on our own. Fun was had by everyone. Let's see when we get together again.

Pet Peeve #2

I've been meaning to write about this, but I forget to write this.

Why is it that people getting on the bus do not have their fare ready? It's mostly women that do this and they rifle through their purses after they get on the bus. The bus winds up being minutes late.

If I can have my shit together, why can't they? Nerve racking.

Chiffie out.

I Am Loved

I'm b-a-a-c-k. I have been unable to blog anything for some reason. I'm glad this is working again. 

Doug and I had a lunch date the other day. He never called to confirm, so I went out to lunch by myself.

I went back home and bumped into Eddie. He was headed to Walgreens, so I went also. When we got back home, who is coming out of the elevator? Doug.

He was concerned about me. He even called the answering service. But there we were and I got a great big hug from him. He does care about me.

Chiflado

Cory Monteith

I still find it hard to believe he's dead. Very tragic. He was handsome, a good singer and drummer. He was well liked by his co-stars and fans.

Just weeks ago, their were rumours about him and Lea Michele getting married.

Glee will not be the same without him.

Cosas

Nothing much going on. It's too hot to go out, but I did manage to go to the library for DVDs.

I got a haircut yesterday. I really needed it. Guess I'll have to get one every two months rather than the three like I do right now.

I went to see Joey Wednesday. He was in a meeting so I left. I called Thursday to reschedule and he scolded me for leaving. He was down right rude. Now I'm thinking of not going anymore. Depression is depressing and I've lived with this almost 50 years. We'll see what I do.

I wasn't feeling well yesterday. I had a case of the squirts as Mike likes to say. We were in bed most of the day. Jean-Luc knew there was something going on, so he was in bed with me. He's such a sweetheart.

Nothing else going on. I'm having breakfast with Mike this morning. Going to HEB to get groceries. 

Let's see what happens today.

Chiflaco out.

Sleep

I have been having problems sleeping. I don't sleep. Hello, check out the time on this entry.

I went to bed before 10 and could not sleep. I've also been itching all over the place. That kinda kept me awake. I've also can't take a nap, and I need one.

So I got up and had cawfee. Now I'm slowly getting sleepy. I am gonna crash sometime soon, hopefully. I need sleep.

Chiflaco out.

Saturday

Eddie came over Saturday and was intrigued. We were talking one day and he wanted to make cannabis brownie.

I went on-line and found several recipes. So we gathered ingredients and began to get everything together.

It really is easy. Some recipes called for oil and others for butter. We went with butter.

Long story short, they were a success! We'll see when we make another batch.

Chiflaco out.

Eddie

Eddie is one of my neighbours and he's quite the character. He's from Boston and has the accent. Sometimes when we visit, I pick up the accent.

He also looks after me. He makes food with just a little more so he can bring it up for me. He's a good cook and he didn't know if I cooked or not. I proved him wrong. Duh.

I made sgetti the other day and had him over. He loved my sauce and he said I do know how to cook.

Something he brings up some cannabis and we have a fabulous visit! We laugh and strike up quite  the conversation.

He did do something to me last year. It was one night that he called Debra to look on me. Apparently, the stove was on and there was a business card on the counter. For some reason, he told the manager about it and I got written up. I don't know how to ask why he did it.

Anyhooo, that's Eddie. Oops! I forgot that he has a cat also. Precious is quite the character also. She's a Russian Blue and is a little on the hefty side.

Chiflaco out.

Nutritionist

I went to see my nutritionist yesterday. I did not lose or gained weight. 

She is also the one who sent my name to some agency and I'm getting free Insure. Very tasty. Of course I made a joke saying it tastes better with rum! LOL.

The other reason I went was to sign me, Doug, and Mike for dinner. We have monthly meetings with drug reps at dinner.

Chiffie out.

Steve Grand

It was bound to happen. Steve Grand is a new C/W singer who happens to be gay! Yep, he bats for 
my team! He's 23 and from Chicago.And here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjiyjYCwNyY

Chiffie out.

Birthday Boy? Girl?

Happy 65th Birthday to Richard. Now he's sweating to himself.

Mental Healh Day

Part of my therapy is short stories. We did music therapy last month. Anyhoo, Joey told me to write a story from Jean-Luc's perspective. He loved it of course. Writing has always been a forte.

I thought I would share this with ya'll.

A Day with Jean Luc




Bon jour. Je suis Jean-Luc, le petit choux de Jacques.



Yawn, stretch. It’s still dark out and he’s asleep. Wonder if I missed some food in my bowl. Purrfect, there’s still is some food there.



It’s light out and he’s still asleep. I’m hungry. I jump on his chest like I usually do, but he’s still asleep. So I start meowing and licking his chest.



Okay, he’s awake. Now for the food. He always gets coffee going before he feeds me. The things I do for food.

The coffee maker is making his coffee as he feeds me.



I’m lucky, today he’s doing laundry. I love it when he brings in the basket of clothes and empties them on the bed. I love to dig in there and enjoy the warm feeling.



Good. Looks like he’s gonna shave. Don’t know why but I enjoy watching him go through the routine. I’m on the bed looking at him. He’s such a character, but he’s my human.



Now he’s on the computer. What a pain. He’s typing away and surfing the net. He also blogs and he writes about me.



Okay, it’s about 10 a.m. and I’m ready for my nap. Today I decide to lay in my sunbeam. I curl myself and nod off. It’s so nice to sleep there. I miss the futon he had because I liked sleeping there and I had some hiding areas in back.



Must be noon. He’s deciding what to eat and he pours out my food. As soon as I hear him picking up the bag and pours out some fresh food, I wake up, stretch, and run to the kitchen. Yumm.



Time to play. He saves paper bags and he throws one on the carpet. I love getting into the bag and smelling what was in there. Today he’s got two bags and I run from one bag to the other.



Sometimes I get in a playful mood and run around the apartment. I let out a special yell telling everyone that I’m having fun.



Sometimes, he feels bad about declawing me. And he still has the scratching post out. I run around and go to the post and start clawing at it. He lets out a little laugh about it, but he still feels sorry about it.



Time for a nap. This time I will nap in the linen closet. I pound on the door until it opens and I squeeze into it. Sometimes I sleep for hours. I like the cool feeling and the warmth from the linen.



It’s dinner time and I’m ready for my fresh food. I have him trained very well. He feeds me before he starts dinner going.



He’s on the ball when it comes to cleaning my litter box. I go in there and start moving litter around for my business. I always run out to the bedroom or to the living room.



I always know when it’s time for his nightly routine. He gets on the computer again and loses himself in it. He takes his medications while surfing the net.



Sometimes I jump on his lap and he can’t surf, so he plays Solitaire while I purr away.



It’s dark out again. Time for bed. I watch him brush his teeth and puts the partial in it’s container. The fan is always on at night, the whirring soothes him and he falls asleep.



I’m still nibbling at the dish. I play a little with the bags. And then I decide to go to sleep. I jump on the bed and curl up next to him. I’m lucky to have such a wonderful human. It took a while to train him, but we’re good together.



Time for my cat nap. In the middle of the night, I will wake up and patrol the place making sure everything’s fine. And then I jump back in bed. I’m ready for sleep and looking forward to tomorrow.

Too Hot!

I woke up and the temperature was 87! I turned it off and on, but it was still high.

I had to call in the maintenance man to do his magic. I hate seeing him on weekends and I felt bad about me needing him.

It's just too hot. I tried to run around yesterday, but I went to the library and I was drained. No way was I gonna run around. I came home and crashed.

Today was horrible. I had a headache and was dizzy. Okay, one might say I'm always dizzy. I tried to nap, but was too stressed to nap.

The temperature right now is at 74. I will sleep like a baby.

Chiffie out.

Survived

What a difference from one week to another. Last Tuesday I was on an errand when it hit me. I was shaking, had a headache, and was clammy. I literally felt I was gonna die.

I got home and crashed. Jean-Luc could tell there was something amiss. I drank a pitcher of cold water and laid down for about an hour.

Other than that, I am still crying. I got into Boston Legal and I saw the finale. It made me cry even more. Nice ending.

Chiffie out.

Still Crying

Okay, so I'm still crying. So what do I do? I saw a movie where she has colon cancer and she has months to live.

I'm not in a good place right now. I'm still hoping for death, the final frontier. Bring it on, I can handle this.

I don't think of AIDS much. But every now and then I think about it. People do not die from AIDS, they die from other things, like cancer or pneumonia or a variety of other happy ways to go.

Okay, I'm back. I finally stopped crying with this movie, so I'm gonna have to start crying again. For no reason.

I'm lucky to have all these amazing people on my side. I love everybody in my life and want to thank you for allowing me into your lives.

Okay, I started crying again. What else can I do?

Chiffie out.

Crying

For some reason, I have been crying a lot lately. People will ask why I'm crying. I don't know. Maybe I'm fed up with my life right now.

I can't stop it, it just happens. Sometimes I forget that I'm crying and I cry some more.

I am tired of crying, but I have no control over it. It's just there, why, I don't know. I just need some Kleenex.

Chiffie out.

Futon

My futon is too big for this unit, so I went to Craig's List and put this for sale. It's gorgeous looking like something out of Architectural Digest.

This was Jean-Luc's favourite place where he liked to nap. Poor baby keeps sleeping where the futon where it used to be. Sad but funny. He's laying there in his preferred sunshine right now.

Chiflaco out.

Nutritionist

Went to the nutritionist today. She was happy that I gained a pound since last time. Funny that somebody is happy for my weight.

She also contacted someone to deliver Ensure at the house. These are nutritional and very tasty, kinda like a malt. So I came home last week to find 6 boxes of the stuff.

I did share with Mike and Eddie. They loved it also.

Chiffie out.

Drs Visits

I went first to see the podiatrist. He pared down the calluses and did my toe nails. I was happy.

He then suggested I go get a pedicure. I can do that. I'm content. I went from one hotie to another. I was happy.


Then I went to see hunky Dr Riley. They had a partial waiting for me and they adjusted it also.
When Dr Riley came over, I was in cloud 9. He's hot.

He has a firm handshake and I gave one in return. He looked at me with those blue eyes, I was melting. And I returned his gaze. He has this way of making me swoon.


Chiffie out.

Mental Day

I went to see Joey yesterday. It was a good session for me. We talked about getting out of the house to get rid of those feelings. He did say that my weight loss is due to depression. I never thought of that.

Like I said before, Joey is great. I'm getting more from him than I did with my previous therapist.

Chiffie out.

Weekend

This was a ho hum weekend. The best thing about this was I got to  get together with Mike and his beau.

We went to Luby's and pigged out. So there we were talking away and Mike made the comment that I want to be dead. So then we started talking about death.

Tony is Mike's beau and I really like him. He brought me a goody bag with a sampler and candles. Like I said, good guy.

Chiffie out.

Busy Day

Just when I had nothing to write, I actually have something to write about.

Went to the hunky dentist where I was trying my partial. It should be ready next week.

I came home to frijoles and rice. The lunch of champions.

Then I went to see Joey. We talked for an hour. I did tell him that I'm looking forward to death. I'm ready for it.

I do tell Mike these feelings. He says he doesn't know what to do with me. I tell him to pull the trigger. He has a gun. Then I can be happy.

Chiffie out.

Mental Health Day

I was busy today. I went to the library to get some DVDs and went to the pharmacy to pick up a psyche pill.

I also got to see Joey, my therapist. He wants me to step away and see how I am. He also wants me to leave my home and do something. My counter claim is that it's too hot and I have no money to do things.

Chiffie out.

Dr's Visit

Went to the clinic to get my results. My t-cell count dropped again to 129 and I'm still undetectable. I did ask about my blood pressure but he said I was okay and did not prescribe me anything.

Also saw the nutritionist and she was happy that I gained a pound and a half. She's still worried about my weight. I would like to lose ten or more pounds but she says I shouldn't because I'm big boned.

She also gave me a supply of Ensure. She wants me to have one at night.

Chiffie out.

Target

Joey gave me a gift card for Target. He thought I can get some groceries, but Target doesn't have that much of a selection.

So I schlepped to Target to see what I could find. I found 2 shirts that I wanted. I also bought some pillows.

I got on the bus coming home. When I got to my apartment, I found out that that bag stayed on the bus. Of course I called VIA but there was no way to contact the bus. I went by the VIA office and no one had turned it in.

This only happens to me. Just got to grin and bear it.

Chiffie out.

Dentist

I got a call from my dentist that they had a cancellation for cleaning today.

Dr R is one hot hunk. Sandy blond hair, piercing blue eyes. He also has a firm shake when I said hello. He actually remembers me from three years ago or so. He said I looked like I had lost weight. Baby!

So I had my teeth cleaned and we took an impression for a partial. I should have it within two weeks.

Chiffie out.

Sunday

Anybody that knows me knows how important I value the theatre. Mike and I went to the Majestic to see The Addams Family Sunday.

Being Mother's Day, he took me out for lunch at the Chinese Buffet. We stuffed our mouths and had a good visit.

Chiffie out.

Last Weekend

Don't know why I didn't blogged this. Monday I went to the podiatrist and he clipped my toe nails and prescribed something for my toe nails.

Tuesday I met with Joey, he's my new therapist at one of the agencies. He's really good. He allows me to talk but he does most of the talking. Still depressed though.

And Thursday I went with the psychiatrist at the clinic to get scripts for some meds I need. Also got a script for sleeping. I had my Ambien and it worked. I slept like a baby.

Chiflado.

Frustrated

Sometimes I feel like giving up. So many hurdles to cross. Being on disability is a full time job with me at the center.

I need one medication and the clinic I go to left a bad taste in my mouth. I have the empty bottle as proof that I need this. They said I need to talk to my physician about it.

And then there are eyeglasses. I was told that I could go to an eyeglass business and I would have to contact the agency.

So I went to the agency and they said I needed to fill out a form and I did. Now I have to wait.

Back in the day I was in charge of my medical needs. Now it's 'them' I have to deal with. Again, I feel like just giving up on everything. What's the point?

Just something else that makes me depressed.

Chiffie out.

Great Hair Day

I usually have my hair styled like the current gay haircut. Combed to the front with a little tuft up.

I haven't had my hair styled so I've been combing it to the back. My hair still looks good. People actually remarked on how great my hair looks.

I do get paid tomorrow so I'll go have my hair styled to the front again.

Chiffie out.

Therapy

I've been seeing a therapist at one of the agencies. He is great and I'm slowly getting comfortable with myself.

Last week he asked what song to associate my childhood. All I could think about was Strangers in The Night. LOL.

Then I went home and started thinking about it. I realized the music I liked was melancholy. The music soothed me and calmed me.

We still talked about music yesterday. He asked what song would I associate with. And I came up with a CW song, The One that Got Away. It does have an upbeat tempo.

Then I thought about The Man that Got Away by Judy. He found it in You Tube and of course I sang along with Judy.

More later.

Chiffie out.

Ruben

Ruben is a sweet heart. Don't remember when we started talking. He's being evicted, May 7. We feel like family is moving out.

Apparently, he had some fine that managers didn't tell him about.


Plus the fine was around $35 late fee and $10 a day. He talked to the Witch that works here. And she said she'd already filed the eviction at the court house.

His ex pulled up the carpet and left him. He also has a dog that barks all day. He didn't know it until he was using my computer, he had no idea.

Never a dull moment at the Hotel Viceroy for nuts and sluts. Of course I fit in both  characters. I really am gonna miss him. 

Did I mention that he has the most infectious smile. Plus he's got the right amount of junk in his trunk. And he does have a nice bubble butt.

Really hate to see him go. 

Chiffie 

Sleeples in SA

I've been having some trouble sleeping. I was in bed in February and now for some reason I'm having difficulty sleeping.

Last night I could not get to sleep. I was lying in bed in sleep mode. But I couldn't sleep. I got up around 2 a.m. to have some water. I was very thirsty.

Went back to bed. I started talking to myself hoping to have some ZZZZs, but it didn't work out. I then had little episodes about everything. Then I started to talk to them. Okay, I have no life.

Chiffie out.

Podiatrist

One thing I haven't mentioned is my feet. They hurt like hell. I have the numbness in both feet and a pulsating hurt from the soles of my feet. I mean, they're hurting right now and I'm sitting down.

I had an appointment last week but I rescheduled to next week because I did not have the co-pay. So I have to wait, big deal.

I hear horror stories of AIDS back in the day. If it's not one thing it's another. I mean I should have been dead when I got diagnosed. I had only three t-cells. I named them Midler, Garland, and Minelli. LOL.

So I trudge along slowly but surely.

Chiffie out.

Sunday

Mike and I like to get together weekly. Since we are low on funds, we pooled ourselves together and went to Wataburger. The main thing is that we got to see each other.

Then we took a leisurely drive through Breckenridge Park. So many memories came flooding back.

Then we drove around Alamo Heights and Monte Vista. I remember when my Dad used to drive me around and said that I belonged in these houses. He would always apologize to me. Now I know why.

Just got home. Hello!

Chiflado

Birthday Girl

Happy 72nd (!!!) birthday to Ann-Margret. Here she is in Kitten With a Whip.

Craig's List

I have a futon that is sofa size. When I got it I didn't know how big it is. Long story short, I'm selling it on Craig's List.

As luck would have it, I am holding it for someone, so what happened, I got four other callers interested. Shazbot.

Also celling my pub table and chairs, some Sponge Bob tins, and a Princess Diana memorial plate.

Then I'll have to buy a table and love seat. Shopping is fun...when you have money. LOL.

Chiflaco.

Inspection

We're getting ready for supervisors. We've been asked to clean our apartments. I had just done the commode so I didn't have to do that. I swept, mopped, and vacuumed.

We have a new manager and we do not like her. She's very demanding and needs to work on her character. A neighbor refers to her as Omarosa she's that bad.

I know my home is clean to my satisfaction. I do have to organize my paperwork. I have piles of bills and communication on the table and at the computer. I'm not worried.

Chiffie out.

Sunday

Weird weekend. Today I met Mike's beau. He seems nice and we all hit it off. He gets my seal of approval.

Did the library run and have 5 DVDs to watch. Then Mike stopped by to take us to lunch. I really liked the beau and I've forgotten his name. But I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.

Anyhooooooo, I'll get his name soon enough.

Chiflado out.

Saturday

Just another Saturday. Went to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Of course there were some missing, so I came home to see what's what. I called them and told them which were missing. So I'll pick them during the week, Wednesday's my usual pharmacy/library run so I'll get them then.

I called in to get a 3-month supply but apparently Humana only does 1-month at a time. I talked to Humana and they said I can mail order my meds. Now I need the 3-month supply from mail order.

And then comes the part I hate, sorting my meds. I really don't like this job but then I don't have any help. Like I said earlier, I can just give up all my meds and wait for the Grim Reaper. What's the point.

Jean Luc has been needy again. Don't know what's wrong with him, but I am concerned that he pulls at his coat. There are clumps of cat hair all over the place.

Last month I had the carpet cleaners and they did a great job. They had a carpet rake to pick up all the fur. Where can I get one?

I stayed home all day after the pharmacy run. And last night they had a fireworks display. Why? I finally decided it's a Fiesta thing. Yep that time of year again. Another reason to say home.

Such is my life.

Chiffie out.

Jean Luc

Jean Luc has apparently gotten the hint from me about eating. Lately he hasn't been eating his food.

Today he was very needy. He fell asleep on my lap and of course I won't disturb him. He's my baby and I love him no matter what.

And he hates it when I get on the computer. All the attention has to be his. He's such a character. He reminds me of exes I've had to deal with.

Right now he's napping on his bed by the computer. Of course I won't disturb him and he has food before I run out of the old bag. He'll always have food ready, even my food can wait. He's my sweetheart and I have to spoil him. He's a chiflado cat. And I love him.

Chiffie out.

Hunger

I've been having eating problems lately. I am not hungry most of the day and eat breakfast and lunch.

I got home and started calling around for help. I also contacted my case manager, Robert, for help. He gave me phone numbers that might help. They didn't.

I had coffee this morning and that kept me until around 4,00 p.m. I wasn't hungry, just wanted to get that out of the way. And then I got hungry tonight so I ate some crackers to get me through the night.

I am looking forward to breakfast already.

Chiff out.

Dr's Visit

Went to my neurologist today. Nothing to report just went in to get a prescription.

It was cold today. I went out in shorts and it was really freezing. I looked forward to get on the bus which had the heater going.

Chiffie out.

Physical Therapy 2

I cancelled pt today. I still have not heard from any of the agencies. I just don't have the money. I'm gonna call around tomorrow and Friday. 

I've lived with this pain for months and I can go another month or two.

I just wish these people would get their act together. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Chiffie out.

Physical Therapy

I start physical therapy on my right shoulder. It just woke up one day and it hurts like hell.

I hopefully have an agency to pay for it. These agencies promise the moon and don't deliver. I have to jump through hoops to get this.

Then they say I have to fill out paperwork to get it going. I wish these people would make up their minds. I need financial help and I hope they deliver.

I found great service with Snowdon Orthopedic and Occupational Rehabilitation. I had knee problems last year and it really helped. I don't walk with a cane anymore. Although I do use it when my knee hurts.

Speaking of which, I also have an appointment with a podiatrist Monday. My feet have been hurting forever. And looks like I have fungus in my toenails. I just want to stop hurting. It really hurts to walk sometimes.

We'll see what happens.

Chiffie out.

Ramblings

What have I been up to lately? Like why haven't updated my blog?

Went to lunch with Doug the other day. He invited Harry along. I've met Harry before and they didn't remember me! I always make an impression but I guess I failed with Harry.

Went to lunch yesterday with Mike. We hadn't seen each other in a week. But we do keep in touch via phone or email. We then went to HEB to get litter and cat food. Like I can carry them on the bus! We came home and he did his taxes while I slept.

Lately I've been waking up shaking and clammy. I've also had night sweats. I was still unwell when he came by to pick me up. Don't know how I showered because I felt like I was gonna fall over any minute.

Today I stayed home and did paperwork and phone calls. Who said being sick meant paperwork? I have to keep on top of things all the time.

My feet have been hurting more than usual. I do have neuropathy in both feet, the numbing not the pain, so I guess I'm lucky? I even hurt when I'm home. I keep myself from tripping on my feet even at home.

My right shoulder woke up in pain these past few months. While I was doing my physical therapy on my left knee, they also checked out my shoulder and they said wow. I know some one's who's gonna have a great vacation. I have a co-pay that I'm hoping somebody helps out.

Last time with my knee pt, one of the agencies I go to promised they'd pay. NOT! Now I'm stuck with the bill, but I've started paying of on it. I've been in touch with another agency who said they'd help me. We'll see. I just want to be normal again.

I'm also getting rid of some stuff on Craigs List. The futon is sofa size and it takes up a lot of room. I didn't know it was that big when I bought it from Sid last year.

Then I have a pub table with two chairs and a wine rack. And then there's my SpongeBob tins. I've been a fan forever. All I can say is keep your fingers crossed.

Other than that, life trudges along a step at a time. There are things on my back burner I must attend to.

That's about it. Although did anybody see the American Country Music Awards last week? Miranda Lambert wore a very revealing dress. I swear I almost saw her nipples. I'm still having nightmares. LOL.

Tomorrow means more phone calls. And I might swing by Wal-Mart for some clothes. I wear nothing but black shorts and t's.

Guess that's about it.

Chiffie out.

Sleepless in SA

I have not sleeping well at all lately. I go to bed and toss and turn for a while. Nothing.

So I get up and watch a movie or two hoping to fall asleep. Nada.

Then I wind up going back to bed around 5 or 6 a.m. or so. That throws me out of whack. Then I spend the day in bed trying to make up for the night before.

I hate this. I feel like I'm drunk for my waking hours. Someday I'll be normal again.

Chiffie out.

Fitted Sheets

Who the hell invented this mess? The fitted sheet is supposed to fit around the mattress. Yeah right.

We get one corner okay. Then we try to get the rest to fit and the thing just collapses all around you. I hate this.

Then I got a brilliant idea. My mattress is queen sized so I got a king set and I'm partially satisfied.

Target has sets made out of flannel. And I just fell for the flannel. Nice and comfy and good year round, not just for winter.

Chiffie out.

Dental

Went to the dentist today. He yanked two teeth today. I really feel no pain hard to believe.

A word about my dentist, HOT! Sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and nice hairy chest. He actually remembered me from two years ago. He said I'm looking better. He remembered me.

I go in for a cleaning and he's gonna give me a partial. Did I say HOT?! He's a major babe. Can hardly wait.

Chiffie out.

HP Update

Hush Puppy is back home. A few months ago they amputated a toe on his left foot. Then he gets an abscess in his right foot. When it rains...

I haven't seen him in two months. Whenever he has something wrong, he recuperates at his parents' home in Kerrville.

And he sounds in good spirits. We're planning a late breakfast early lunch. We haven't decided yet.

Chiflado out.

Frustrated

How often have I felt this. Why bother? I could stop taking my meds and wait for the Sandman.

I was on the phone today talking with everybody and it just frustrated the hell of me. What's the point? I'm nobody in a plethora of AIDS patients.

Plus I felt the depression slowly make a return appearance. Hello? It's here tonight and I don't know how this one will go. I did sleep through February, what's another month?

I spent the rest of the day crying and under the covers. I just want to get in a fetal position and let it do it's magic.

I will survive, but why?

Chiflado

Therapist Pt 2

I went to go see another therapist to see which of the two I would prefer.

I kinda like this therapist I saw today. He seemed more suited for me. And I would be able to see him once a week as opposed to yesterday's therapist and see her once a month.

I'm getting more bang for the buck with him. I'll see how things develop.

Chiflado out

Therapist

I got a new therapist today. I had to break her in. We talked a lot of things. Yes I'm depressed, but at least the meds help.

Don't know what I'd do without them. We talked about some wounds that I carry. I'm still shocked at the picture with Maya.

I just don't know the stranger in the mirror. It's still haunting me. I see the difference in the photos. I just do not look that sick. I guess it's part of AIDS.

The plus part is that my funeral is arranged. I'm just waiting to use this.

I do think about suicide a lot, now more than ever. I will not kill myself because I do not have the courage to follow through. And that depresses me even more.

But I move on.

Chiflado

Hulu

Yesterday I spent all day catching up on Glee. Yeah, I have no life.

Don't know what to do to get outta this mood. Yeah, the meds are the to even out my mind. I did an experiment and stayed away from the blog.

Also got to catch up on SMASH on NBC. This is a fun show the faggots are looking at right now. I'm a fan. Highly recommend this series.

Chiflado

Schlepping Pt 2

More walking. Yesterday I ran around all over the southside. I was the Energy Bunny.

Went to the bank and took care of a couple of things. Followed by the place for my physical therapy.

Had a salad and then on whim, I went to Wal-Mart. Bought a pair of jeans that actually fit. As luck would have it, I found a couple of other things.

This was at 5 p.m. Then went by the deli to get a sandwich I was in no way gonna cook. It was delicious.

Again I say, I am on disability and have problems
getting around. Long story short, I got home at 7 p.m. Then I took a nice long shower. I was ready for bed. Whew. The Energy Bunny was very tired.

Chiflado

Modern Family

I try to avoid stuff on the TV. I just do not want to get involved with any show. Well, I got into this one.

I get each season from the Library and it's also available in Netflix.

This show is hilarious. Don't know why I decided on this. Worth watching.

Chiflado