Leaving

I knew I had to leave but the question was when. And I gave the relationship every chance. I even left out a brochure on couples counseling, but he said everything was okay with us.

I started mailing home things to lighten my eventual load. I donated to the Goodwill. I knew I had to leave on a payday so I would have funds for my trip.

The perfect time presented itself when he went to dinner with his brothers and I packed my car. Of course he didn't notice anything was amiss when he came home. We talked and went to bed like any other night.

I woke early, showered, and cleaned the bathroom. By the time I heard him stirring I had his breakfast ready. Either I'm stupid or I have class. I could not look him in the eyes as I dropped my bomb. I'm leaving. Ok was all he said, like he was expecting it. Then I told him about the AIDS diagnosis and that he should get tested as soon as possible.

And that was it. So anticlimactic. I already had the garage open and I gave him my garage door opener. Nothing else was said. I got in my car and began my drive back to Texas. Alone again as usual and counting on the one constant in my life, myself.