Counselor's Visit

I saw my counselor today. I talked about all that’s going on like usual. She hadn’t read my blog so I filled her in on everything.

We also talked about the holidays. Chiflado does not do holidays as some of you may already know. Plus I take this time of year more to heart because my sister was hospitalized and died.

Okay it was 22 years ago, but Chiflado has a heart and my sister was my everything. She was always there for me and I could talk about anything to her. She was my best friend, mother, confidante, everything. And to have a life taken away at such an early age, she was 47, just didn’t make sense. Neither did the fact that she died in my arms.

I try not to think about it, but it happens every year. There are many days coming up that I will cry for no reason. But it’s a memory locked in storage that makes its way out of its Pandora’s Box.

I have a feeling of isolation and/or depression coming on. Hush Puppy’s noticed something’s not right with me already.

My counselor did ask if I was depressed. And I said there are several layers of depression and I am in a level. She suggested volunteering but I do not want to be around people. There are times when one needs to be alone and I need to be alone.