23 February 2012

Blue Boy

It's that time of the year. I am depressed and don't know why. I was in bed most of the day in the fetal position. I'm in a bother or burden state of mind. Yes I take my meds, but nothing works when I'm in this mood.

Some has to do with the month. February is always a monetary problem. Even when I was working, it sneaked up on me. Days go by in and out of my life, hard to keep track of.

I was talking to HP tonight and told me I'm ready for the oven. It's one of those I want to die kind of mood. My funeral was taken care of way back in 1980. I really need to get a new copy. I have the carbon copies and they're kinda hard to read. My friend C laughed at the part where I will be disposed of immediately and no service. Of course there will not be a notice in the paper. Do you know expensive that is? Besides, I am a nobody and have lived with that all my life.

We'll see what happens next. I really try my best but I feel like a fraud most of the time. And on that note, I will say good night.

Chiffie out.

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