'Bout Last Night...

I did something I hadn't done since my sister passed away, I cried myself to sleep. I couldn't help it. I was just surfing the net, minding my own business. I don't know what triggered it, but the tears just started flowing.

Granted I have something to look forward to next week, and I've always considered myself a strong person, but it's still there. I will walk to the hospital and check myself in and they will take a piece of my colon as HP so calmly put it. Well that's a whole different subject, since you put it that way, I can relax some!

I didn't even enjoy playing with my dolls. My nightly routine is shower and then play on the net until HP calls. Part of the routine is taking 11 pills which I call dolls, as in Valley of The Dolls, and I start popping pill after pill in the same order every night. For added panache I have a glass of wine to really enjoy the moment.

Last night just didn't do it. It was a Kleenex night and the only good thing I can say about it was I had no difficulty falling asleep. Even Jean Luc knew something was amiss, he kept his distance and didn't make a sound. That cat is one smart cat.

On the bright side, I got my DNR signed. Tick, tock, tick, tock...

Birthday Boy

Happy 34th Birthday to Colin Farrell, hot Scottish actor. Kudos on the 5 o'clock shadow.

Birthday Girl

Happy 39th Birthday to Irina Menzel famous for 'Rent' and her Tony award performance as Elfaba in 'Wicked' which Chiflado loved.

Birthday Boy

Happy 51st Birthday to UK hottie Rupert Everett. Okay, the guy's hawt, speaks French, and he's openly gay. Great in any role, he never lets you down.

Anxious...

Scared. Depressed. Angry even. My surgery looms in my future and there's nothing I can do but think about it. HP says I shouldn't worry about it because they scheduled it so far ahead whereas if it were serious they would have scheduled it asap.

I just know I'm going stir crazy and can't seem to focus on anything right now. I just want that tumor out and then I have to wait a week for a follow up and see what the doc says.

And then I've been having tummy problems like never before. It's difficult to find anything that agrees with me. Most nights I just have some crackers and a banana. And I've been guzzling Maalox like water it's that bad. I wonder if it's stress related.

Birthday Boy

Happy 31st Birthday to his Hawtness Jesse Bradford. Nothing like a man with 5 o'clock shadow. He's done comedy, thrillers, and drama, and he never lets me down.

Birthday Boy

Happy 40th Birthday to Joseph Fiennes, hawt thespian younger brother of Ralph. He first came to our attention in a little movie called 'Shakespeare in Love' and we fell in love with him and his schnozz!

Birthday Boy

A birthday shout out to Betty Crocker up in the Dallas
area. I think he's in his 30's but we love him anyway.
We nicknamed him Betty because he used to bring us these scrumptious desserts to our Sunday group that was an explosion of love in each bite. We love and miss you Betty.

Lee DeWyze

If anyone's still watching American Idol, yeah, it's been a lackluster season, please vote for Lee. He's the best of the two left. The other is a one-trick pony where all her songs sound alike, whereas Lee is hawt and has grown and improved the most throughout the show. Remember, Chiflado thinks this is like a train wreck where you can't help but look.

Birthday Boy

Happy 53rd Birthday to one of my cherished friends, Mess. My life would be so black and white without him. I wish him nothing but great luck and happiness today and everyday. I love my Mess.

Evan Lycacek

Let's hear it for the boy! He got a perfect 30 on one of his dances on 'Dancing with the Has Beens' last week. This week is the finale so let's keep voting for him. His voting number is 1.800.868.3406, vote and redial!

Birthday Girl

Happy 66th Birthday to Patti LaBelle. Patti has had several incarnations in her career. She taught me a little bit of French in 'Lady Marmalade' and she always brings the house down with her version of 'Over the Rainbow. You go girl.

Birthday Girl

Lovely and ageless diva Joan Collins turns 77 years old today if you can believe it. Mostly known for playing bitches, she had her biggest success on night time soap opera 'Dynasty.'

Wacky Week

Wow! This has been an interesting week for the Posse. HP wasn't feeling well so he went to the doctor. Turns out his glucose level was over 400! As a diabetic he should know better. He thought it was something worse.

We still don't know the story on Mess but his foot was in his mouth again and it got infected. He was in Urgent Care and is bedridden and has a friend over daily and his sister in the evening looking out after him.

And me, I'm only depressed. Anxious even. I have this surgery looming in my future. I wish they wouldn't have scheduled it so far ahead. I just want to get it over and done with and get some results back asap.

But we're big boys and we'll get through whatever comes our way.

Birthday Girl

Happy 64th Birthday to ageless Diva Cher.

Chiflado Update

One good thing about my therapist is she gets things done. She listens. I told her about my DNR problem and she said she could get Dr M to counter-sign the form. So imagine my surprise when our nutritionist showed up with an envelope for me at dinner! Now I can take that in to my case manager and get it notarized and copied and whatever.

I already forgot what the topic was about. I just know the presenter is a vivacious man full of energy. Dinner was grilled chicken breast with grilled veggies, rice and beans. Not your typical Mexican restaurant fare but something I'm sure our fabulous nutritionist had input in.

Mental Health Day

Went to see my therapist today after a few months absence. She gets booked very quickly. I'm already booked for June and July.

She got an earful. So much has happened since I've seen her. Ya'll know so I won't go into details. She did say it's understandable to be depressed after a surgery only to face another. So I guess it's normal for me to feel the way I'm feeling, the anxiety, maybe that's what's contributing to my nausea.

She wasn't surprised that I walked to the hospital for my gall bladder surgery and will more than likely walk back for this surgery. I already have a ride lined up. I just hope they start on time this time around.

I'm off to dinner at La Margarita sponsored by Centromed this afternoon.

Birthday Girl

Happy 62nd Birthday to Disco Diva Grace. Chiflado loved her rendition of 'La Vie en Rose' among her many hits.

Scared

It's getting a bit scary for me on so many levels. My AIDSheimers is getting worst. I have to write down where I'm going and what I'm gonna do. Coming home is easy because it's my center point. If I didn't have to go out I'd be quite satisfied, but I'm still trying to be as independent as possible.

My tremors have gotten worst also. I find other parts of my body shaking along with my hands, arms, and lips. Last night at a pot luck I could barely eat I was shaking so bad. And then I got a ride to Walgreens and I felt like I was gonna pass out. I was walking like I was drunk.

This of course is not healthy for me. It's really bringing me down. I find myself crying for no reason, but the reasons are many. The plus side is I get to see my analyst tomorrow and she's good at calming the savage beast.

I'm off to the store. I don't need a reminder because I have my recycle bags and there's only one reason for them. Duh. Wish me luck.

Birthday Boy

Happy 58th Birthday to Texas babe George Straight. George has won multiple awards and his albums go platinum real quick. Nothing like seeing a Straight concert live if you're lucky.

Birthday Boy

Hot Belgian stud playing for the San Antonio Spurs. Happy 28th Birthday Tony. Got the looks, great accent, hot wife. Lucky man.

Evan Lycacek

Let's hear it for the boy! He likes WALL-E for chrissakes, how can you not vote for him. His futuristic dance was awesome last week, loved the hair and make-up. His voting number is 1.800.868.3406 and hit redial.

Posse-less

It's kinda weird not having my posse around. They're up at the camp out having a blast without me. Well that's what I get for feeling under the weather.

On the plus side I caught up with my DVDs. Finally saw 'Avatar.' Can we say 'Dances With Wolves' meets 'Pocahontas?' At least that's what it felt like to me. A sci-fi version of a combination of these two films. And I'm not a Cameron fan but I actually enjoyed this one.

Now I have a few weeks of stress about the tumor. They will remove it and do a biopsy and check out the status of my bouncing baby tumor. I wonder if I should name it?

Birthday Boy

Happy 66th Birthday to Hispanic character actor Danny Trejo. He's worked with a lot of big names and Chiflado likes his work.

Birthday Girl

Happy 70th Birthday to ageless beauty Lainie Kazan. Lainie is an all around performer, she's done Broadway, the big screen, the small screen, and cabaret. Watch her in 'Lust in the Dust' or her guest roles on 'The Nanny' for a taste of her humour.

Birthday Boy

Happy 49th Birthday to actor Tim Roth. And check out that hot schnozz on him! Tim never lets us down in comedy, drama, and thrillers.

Birthday Boy

Happy 24th Birthday to Robert Pattinson, my favourite vampire. Okay, he is British playing an american vampire but he does it so well. So far, the Twilight films and his brief Harry Potter cameo are worth watching. He's tried other films that just don't work. But I think he's got a lot more to offer that we haven't seen yet.

One More Day

After all this talk of camp out I won't be going! I'm under the weather and would just prefer to stay near a bathroom rather than have to schlep up to the one set of latrines they have out there. I will miss the camaraderie yes and Hush Puppy and Mess are trying to talk me into going but when I set my stilettoed foot down it stays down!

Birthday Girl

Happy 41st Birthday to Kim Fields, Tootie on 'The Facts of Life.' She's still in the business but works behind the camera nowadays.


...2 Days until the Camp Out ....

Birthday Girl

Happy 58th Birthday to Frances Fisher, here in a scene from one of Chiflado's worst film list, 'Titanic.' It was too long, a remake, and who cares. Frances was also linked with Clint Eastwood for a while.

...3 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Boy

Happy 50th Birthday to U2's front man. He's also got a nice schnozz and I might just have to use him on my schnozz blog.

Evan Lycacek

Our hot gold medalist is still in the running on Dancing With the Has Beens. He was the first dancer of the season to score a perfect 10 for his Argentine tango. He gets a 10 for looks and for nose outta me. The man is hot and talented.
His voting number is 1.800.868.3406, and remember to redial. It takes a few minutes. I do it every Monday night.

...4 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Boy

Happy 49th Birthday to John Corbett, some of you might remember him from 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding.' He caught my eye as DJ Chris in the morning on Northern Exposure. And he also made my schnozz blog.

Sunday Group

There must be a bug going around. This past week Mess and Hush Puppy came down with something. Now I hear Silver Daddy is sick as well. That's almost the core of the Sunday group, so it's canceled for this week as well as next week due to the camp out.

...5 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Boy

Happy 35th Birthday to Enrique Iglesias. I don't know what he's pouring but gurl, I'm there to lick it up!

R&R

Normal people can handle a day like yesterday, but us sick folk cannot handle it well. I was out of sorts until I hit the hay and then I woke up at 9 a.m. so you know I was one tired puppy. And I feel a whole lot better.

I'm just gonna take it easy for the rest of the day, nap, maybe vacuum, and see if I get some energy to do other things around the apartment.

...6 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Girl

Happy 42nd Birthday for former porn star Traci Lords. She made a splash in several John Waters films.

Out and About

Boy I'm one tired puppy. Went to my doctor's visit and he signed my DNR but it wasn't until later that I noticed he signed it in the wrong place! So I gotta go through that again. I lost 5 more pounds and we put me on a medication to help me with my latest problem that will not be blogged!

Then I went out for a late breakfast, came home, took meds, and passed out. I took a two hour nap of all things. I haven't been sleeping well lately and I'm stressed because of this surgery.

Then I went to the store to get more cans of soup since that's gonna be my diet for a couple of days before and after surgery. And honey, I'm ready for another nap. I just need to lie down.

...7 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Boy

Happy 49th to hottie George Clooney with a great sense of humour. George is also a multi-Oscar winner and is great in comedies and thrillers.

...8 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Girl

Happy 83rd Birthday to character actress Pat Carroll, far left. Here she is in Rodgers and Hammerstein's 1965 version of Cinderella where she played Prunella, the wicked step-sister with the creaking knee. Rub some unicorn oil on it the Mother says. We love Pat. This generation might know her for her portrayal of Ursula in Disney's The Little Mermaid.

Chiflado Update

I woke up early yet again. The stress is starting to get to me. I'm trying not to think about it but it's looming in my future. I have a doctor's appointment that means another surgical procedure. Maybe that's what's adding to my AIDSheimer's also.

I realized last night that my rent is due! I wrote out the check and will go by the office on the way to the store and I wrote 'Rent' on my calendar for the rest of the year. This is really starting to worry me. Something to bring up at my next session.

...9 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Girl

Happy 56th Birthday to Pia Zadora, talentless actress but did a great cameo in the original Hairspray. Her real talent is in singing, the lady has some pipes on her.

Chiflado Update

Went by my case manager's and finished my paperwork. Plus I got homework on top of that. I got some forms that need witnesses' signatures, so I can do that Sunday. And I have a DNR that needs my physician's signature and I just happen to see him Friday.

I've given up on American Idol. You can see the finale coming a mile away. She should have at least been in the bottom three with her poor performance. But what do I know, I believe in Smurfs!

...10 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Boy

Happy 39th to Bobby Cannavale, hot, hairy chest, nice schnozz. He was Will's boyfriend on Will and Grace and had a funny storyline with Samantha on Sex and the City.

Evan Lycacek

This babe is still on Dancing with the Has Beens. He's dancing great but the judges are tough on him, but he perseveres. Remember his number 800.868.3406 and redial away. As you can tell by this photo, Evan did make my Schnozz page in March.

...11 Days until the Camp Out...

Birthday Boy

Happy 35th birthday to David Beckham. Now you know why my heart belongs to Daddy!

Dressing Update

Well I guess that's that. It fell off in the middle of the night and there was no leakage. I'll still Neosporin it but for all intentions, it's healed.

I also woke up early for some unknown reason. Thank gawd I have a DVD to watch. If anybody has Netflix, I recommend a short lived series called The Middleman, the humour is just dry enough for my taste.

...12 Days until the Camp Out...

Nada

Nothing much going on. I'm starting to feel a bit blue for some reason and I've been doing so well lately.

I haven't been feeling well lately either. I wake up, have some de-calf and toast followed by a cat nap. There's always a lunch because of the HIV meds and sho nuff there will be another cat nap sometime.

I did get out yesterday. I went to an agency to get a monthly bus pass for May. It got kind of scary because I forgot which stop to get off at and the same thing happened on my return trip. When I remember my stops I just chant them over and over in my head so I won't forget to get off. Please don't tell me it's Alzheimer's I have to add to my list. B says it's just age. But it's happening more and more frequently.

...13 Days until the Camp Out...