Update

The update is there is no change. I get maybe two or three hours of sleep at night. And that's very restless sleep. I do take a nap in the day that is very satisfying. I still need sleep.

The Ambien doesn't work anymore and I've run out. I can't get any until next month. I am taking a mixture of Exedrin PM, melatonin, and Nyquil sleeping tablets. I down them with wine and I still can't sleep. Don't know what I did wrong to deserve this.

I really wish I were dead. There's just no reason for me to be alive. I even find sex boring. And I've been getting plenty of that! I have no interest in movies. And I haven't felt like reading in ages. The last book I read was The Fault in The Stars and it's just like the movie.

I have no appetite to speak of. I have toast with coffee in the morning. And then I have a meal in the afternoon. I don't eat much because I feel bloated afterwards. I feel like I want to puke and my stomach feels enlarged.

And the heat! Mike says I'm going through menopause. I perspire all day and I can't keep the apartment cool enough. I am having night sweats. The sheets cling to me. I'm hot and cold at the same time. The other night I was burning up and my feet were freezing. I got up and put on some woolen socks.

I want my life back. I have actually thought of returning to work but what's the point? I'm in the bathroom a lot and I lose concentration. Girl, I wouldn't hire me.

Oh well, time for the daily vodka induced nap. That's something I look forward to every day.

Chiflaco out.