Yesterday I went to the doctor's to get my test results. I have 104 t-cell count, but I'm still undetectable, that's the news.
I don't know why my CD-4 keeps slowly disappearing. I'm doing the same things as before, I haven't change anything.
This on top of my depression. What next? I'm sick and tired it just drops away.
I've been battling depression as it is. I felt it coming and here it is. I'm dealing with one bad set of news and here comes another. And you wonder why I am like this. I'm sick and tired of everything, t-cells and all my meds. I just want to take all my meds and call it a night.
But I continue, I'm the cockroach that keeps coming. I just want it to end. I tell my nurse and she asked if I had a plan, so many people do and I'm one of them.
Sometimes I think okay and then I get some news that bring me down and I can swallow all the pills I have and abort me out of my life.
Don't worry.
Chiffie out.
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