THE ITCH

Don't know if I've blogged about this already. One of the other travails I've been plaqued with lately is itching.

I am one major itch monster. I scratch all over the place. I even have some scratches for proof.

Then I remembered about oatmeal. They say to bathe in oatmeal for soothing itches. I'm not about to try that, I hate oats!

I found good old fashioned oatmeal soap. It smells great and leaves my skin exceptionally smooth. I really feel better all around. An added bonus.

Chiflaco out.

Bad Things Good People

Why do bad things happen to good people? It's a question that will haunt us for a lifetime.

I heard from my friend Barbara. She also had a near-death experience. Bless her heart she managed to avoid a collision and she almost hit a man, but she is intelligent.

Then there's poor Mike. He just got diagnosed with esophageal cancer. He's gonna have some surgeries and then radiation treatments. We're all down about it but we're making light of the situation. I love Mike like the brother I never had. I expect nothing but great results.

Chiflaco out.

Missing the Cool Weather

It started already. I hate it. Hot weather has finally appeared in SA. It's 76 in my apartment with the a/c on. They're supposed to fix it soon but our manager has too many days off and we don't have a maintenance man.

This was a cool winter. It never got freezing cold for me. I did not turn on the heater again this year. There were days when I had the window open to let some of the cool air in.

Up to last week we still had cool weather. It was in the 60's outside and 70's inside. I miss that. Now I have to deal with the unrelenting heat that is San Antonio.

It's only seven months until we get great weather again.

Chiflaco out.

Dental Visit

I went to the dentist for a cleaning today. I was a bloody mess. After my cleaning my bib was splashed with bloody splats alee over the place. It looked like a Jackson Pollok painting!

Sexy Dr. Riley said they've done all they can and referred my to a periodontist. I'm in need of help. I've only been asking for this for the past 11 years.

Now I got to follow up on this problem. More later.

Chiflaco out.

Doctors Appointments

I had a busy morning today. I was almost killed in front of my building. And then I went to my sexy furry podiatrist. He is hot and I love his furry chest. We talked hammertoe surgery and he pared of my  callouses.

Then I went to my doctor with a list of things. My dizziness might be allergies. He gave me a script for that. My bathroom problems might be me getting used to my meds again. He also upped my prostate medication as well.

The final thing with my doctor, I've noticed a bump under my belly button. It scared me this weekend when I felt it. But he said it might be a hernia and requested for more tests on it. Of course I thought the worse and wanted to test no matter what. I'm going to see a specialist about it.

I've had a busy day and anxious and ready for a nap.

Chiflaco out.

Near Death Experience

I didn't see this one coming. I was at the crosswalk on Travis waiting to cross the street. I got the walk sign looked both ways like always and started crossing the street.

About a third of the way, cars started honking. The cars that had the right of way stopped and were honking. Some moron in an SUV on the phone came out of nowhere and swerved to miss the cars and barely avoided hitting me. He came so close I could see his face. 

And he just kept on talking. I literally saw my life flash in front of me. That was depressing. All I could think of was my Dad. There's a saying that's appropriate for times like this, Cosa Mala Nunca Muere! Bad things never die. And I didn't.

I went off the rest of the day after my heart stopped beating fast and went to my appointments.

Chiflaco out.  

Dizzy Queen

My  latest problem is dizziness. I've been dizzy  for the past week. I'm dizzy all day long, and there are times when I feel like I'm about to pass out. I also have severe headaches. No amount of meds gets rid of those.

I did make an appointment with my doctor, but that's two days away. And then there are times when I feel like my knees are about to buckle under me. I just now spent two hours in bed I was so out of it.

I have to run errands but I'm so afraid to go out and pass out somewhere. As usual I will survive.

Chiflaco out.

What a Whiner!

Bathroom Problems. I miss January and February when I had diarrhea. Now I'm constipated. I think it's because I'm taking my meds again. I do try laxatives with a stool softener but it's not working.

I did have a couple of movements this week but it wasn't due to the laxative. I produced some rock-hard turds. These things are like cement. They sink directly down to the commode. And then I have to triple flush. And then the commode took two days to function properly.

Weather. For the most part I love these cool mornings. But while it's 65 outside, it's 76 in my apartment and that's with the a/c on! My saving grace is that when I was having problems last May, management loaned my a window unit. And that really helps a lot. I turn it on at night because it just gets so hot.

Chiflaco out.

Back to 'Normal'

I'm finally sleeping again. But it takes a while to fall asleep. My psychiatrist told me to take them before I go to sleep. It didn't work. I'm now taking them at 7 p.m. Doesn't work. Last night I was up until midnight before laying down. I lay in bed until 2 a.m. when I got up for a glass of water.

The latest I've woken up has been 10 a.m. They really knock me out. I finally set my phone for 8 a.m. It is nice to sleep again.

I'm still constipated. So far it's been five days. Maybe I should stop taking my meds and live with the diarrhea. Just a thought.

Chiflaco out.

Meds

I finally got my meds. I started taking them Sunday morning. The weird thing is that now I am constipated. Most AIDS patients have diarrhea with the cocktail. I have to be different.

An agency used to pay my co-pays. They've changed their policy and now I have to pay my co-pays. It's not much but I could use that money somewhere else.

Now for the sleeping situation. Ambien was just not working for me anymore. My psychiatrist wrote me a script for Trozodone. Each tablet is 150 mgs. He told me to take one before bedtime and if that doesn't work, take two.

I took two. I started yawning after 30 minutes so I went to bed. I just lay there. I was there for about two hours and then it was 10,30 a.m.! The tablets work. I do wake up groggy but I'm sleeping again.

The only problem is falling asleep. No matter what time I take the pills, I don't fall asleep until after 11 or midnight. Last night I took them at 8. I went to bed at 10,30 and I lay there for a while. I still didn't fall until 11 or midnight.

Oh well. At least I'm getting sleep. And I haven't napped since. I was so used to those naps but my body doesn't need them anymore.

Chiflaco out.

Busy Day

I'm exhausted. Went to the therapist today for an assessment to see the psychiatrist. She said my sweats might be hormonal and suggested I talk to the psychiatrist or PCP.

She got me through to the psychiatrist today. He prescribed an alternative sleeping medication. Of course I forgot the name but I took the script to the pharmacy.

Then I went to the clinic. Dr. Martinez was kind of pissed that the case manager there was not able to help me with my meds. He did say the sweats might be because I haven't been taking my psych meds. He wrote me scripts for everything.

He did say everything was just about normal. All my organs are okay. My t-cell count went up from 89 to 125, that's good. The bad part was my viral load. It went from undetectable to 60,000! That was because I haven't taken my meds for two months.

I did forget to mention my libido which is way up. Tony says I got a good cell count because of all the sex. I just can't seem to get enough.

I then went to Oasis for their fabulous mole enchiladas. Not bad for $6.95. Enchiladas, rice, beans, salad and tea. I was happy.

Then I went to the pharmacy with all my scripts and new insurance card. I feel so relieved to get that back into swing.

I came home and took some Ibuprofen and lay down for about thirty minutes. I'm one tired boy. Something tells me I'll be getting a good night's sleep. Not to mention the fact that I didn't nap today.

Chiflaco out.

Joel

Today would have been Joel's 53rd birthday. He was my high school sweetheart. He died ten years ago. I miss him.

He had AIDS also. I still remember when he told me. We went to the movies and he told me in the parking lot. We didn't see a movie. He cried so much and we promised to be there for each other.

When he passed I was in Michigan. I got a call from his boyfriend and we arranged his funeral. I promised to go. Joel and I had promised to be there for each other's funerals.

Steve did not let me come down. That really pissed me off. I should have come down.

Joel was only 16 when we met. It was love at first sight. We went to the zoo with some friends that Saturday. He was a real gentleman. When he'd come over he'd talk to my Dad and would tell him what we would be doing and when he'd have me home. My Dad really liked him.

I still go by the Japanese Garden in Breckenridge Park where he carved our initials. They're still there. We were together only two years but we were life long friends. It's always best to love a friend.

I wish he were there when I found out about myself. He would have taken care of me like I took care of him. I will hopefully seen him soon.

Chiflaco out.

Allegic To Jean-Luc

I've had three 'dates' that are allergic to cats. Oh the dilemma. Should I get rid of Jean-Luc? Is sex more important than my beloved?

We know the answer. Sex is great buy Jean-Luc is the world to me. They can survive.

Chiflaco out.

Sleeping Again

I can really get used to this. I'm sleeping again. I think the combination of drugs I'm taking at night are working. I lay down at the same time and get up at the same time.

The vivid dreams have stopped. I was having some whoppers. I still wake up with severe bad breath. I'm brushing my teeth before I got to bed and in the morning.

I get up and feed Jean-Luc. I have my priorities correct. Then I get coffee going and have toast. I'm still not eating.

The diarrhea has stopped. Wonder where that was coming from since I wasn't eating. I'm having regular bowel movements now. Again, why?

My clothes fit lose but I'm not going out to buy new clothes just yet.

My sex life is great. I've been meeting some interesting men. I'm more sexually active than I've been in over twenty years. I do play safe although some of them don't want to. So I turn those down. Don't want to spread my Michigan souvenir.

Chiflaco out.

Downton Abbey

My friend Greg got me hooked on Downton Abbey. It's a series on PBS about a family at the turn of the century in England.

I've watched all the seasons and got to watch the current season through Netflix. I think it's the series finale. All the stories were wrapped up and there was no season cliff hanger. I cried.

Chiflaco out.

I Slept!

Two nights in a row. I hope this is a trend. All I can think of is that the drug combination I'm taking is finally taking hold. The only problem is I wake up with severe bad breath and run to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Yesterday I woke up at 4 a.m. and brushed and went back to bed.

I'm still in heat. Don't know why I'm so hot. The night sweats are a pain. Last night I pulled off the covers I was so hot and I had the AC on.

This morning when I took out the recyclables it was nice and cold out. I came up turned off the AC and opened the windows. It was 61 in my apartment and I actually felt comfortable.

Nothing much else going on. I'm watching Queer As Folk again. That was such a great series. JR says I remind him of Brian Kinney if you know which character that is. He's the cynical one and I do see a lot of myself in him.

Jean-Luc is okay. I wish I were him the way he sleeps all the time. He likes to get on my chest in the morning so I can feed him. He just eats and sleeps and naps on my lap. He does sleep with me all the time. I'm awake in the middle of the night and he's snoring away next to me. True love.

Chiflaco out.

Update

The update is there is no change. I get maybe two or three hours of sleep at night. And that's very restless sleep. I do take a nap in the day that is very satisfying. I still need sleep.

The Ambien doesn't work anymore and I've run out. I can't get any until next month. I am taking a mixture of Exedrin PM, melatonin, and Nyquil sleeping tablets. I down them with wine and I still can't sleep. Don't know what I did wrong to deserve this.

I really wish I were dead. There's just no reason for me to be alive. I even find sex boring. And I've been getting plenty of that! I have no interest in movies. And I haven't felt like reading in ages. The last book I read was The Fault in The Stars and it's just like the movie.

I have no appetite to speak of. I have toast with coffee in the morning. And then I have a meal in the afternoon. I don't eat much because I feel bloated afterwards. I feel like I want to puke and my stomach feels enlarged.

And the heat! Mike says I'm going through menopause. I perspire all day and I can't keep the apartment cool enough. I am having night sweats. The sheets cling to me. I'm hot and cold at the same time. The other night I was burning up and my feet were freezing. I got up and put on some woolen socks.

I want my life back. I have actually thought of returning to work but what's the point? I'm in the bathroom a lot and I lose concentration. Girl, I wouldn't hire me.

Oh well, time for the daily vodka induced nap. That's something I look forward to every day.

Chiflaco out.

No Change

I'm still not sleeping. It'll be a month this week. I've got major bags under my eyes. I lay down every night at the same time and just toss and turn.

I do take naps though. I drink two shots of vodka and that knocks me out for a couple of hours. I wake up all drugged and have no energy or interest in anything.

I try to watch movies but I'm just not interested. I did see John Wick with Keanu Reeves that was really great. It actually caught my interest and I got into the film.

The other thing is I finally got my prescription coverage back. Apparently I signed up for the VA package that doesn't have coverage because they give the medications for free. My coverage starts on March 1 and I'm looking forward to it.

Nothing else much going on. Oh, I have met some great men on growlr. I've had some interesting 'dates.' Now I can't seem to get enough.

Chiflaco out.

No Change

Still not sleeping. I do take daily naps though. I take Unisom with a shot of vodka each afternoon and that allows me to take naps. At night I take shots of Nyquil but don't know if it works or not.

Regardless, I'm still not sleeping. My naps do make up for my lack of sleep but I still need a full 8 hours. I'm not eating have a severe headache and am nauseous for the time being.

I do like the weight loss but know I'm losing weight for the wrong reasons. I have no apatite to speak of and only eat like once a day right now.

I have a roaring headache and I'm very tired of it. I want sleep. I'm also eating less. I've lost some weight and am glad of it but it's also not healthy weight loss. I want my life back.

Chiflaco out.

Insomnia 2

Still not sleeping. It's really driving me crazy. I lay down in bed and just toss and turn. Yesterday morning I took some Nyquil and was able to take a nap.

Mike told me about melatonin. It's an herbal supplement that's a sleeping aid. It really hasn't worked that I can tell. I took two last night with a shot of Nyquil and I did pass out. I still need a lot of sleep.

I'm suffering all over. I have a lack of appetite that I welcome. I've lost some weight because of this lack of sleep. And I go from diarrhea to constipation if you can believe that. I welcome the diarrhea just to clean out my system. Mike got a bit upset and told me to take Imodium which I did.

Still haven't heard anything about my scripts. In the meantime I'm not taking any meds. I've run out. I got used to the routine and now there's nothing.

I just want to sleep. I have a constant headache and I'm shaking again. For some reason I'm sweating up a storm. I can't find a constant temperature and have day sweats now. I just can't keep clean either. I always feel dirty. I can't take enough showers.

Chiflaco out.