Too Hot!

I woke up and the temperature was 87! I turned it off and on, but it was still high.

I had to call in the maintenance man to do his magic. I hate seeing him on weekends and I felt bad about me needing him.

It's just too hot. I tried to run around yesterday, but I went to the library and I was drained. No way was I gonna run around. I came home and crashed.

Today was horrible. I had a headache and was dizzy. Okay, one might say I'm always dizzy. I tried to nap, but was too stressed to nap.

The temperature right now is at 74. I will sleep like a baby.

Chiffie out.

Survived

What a difference from one week to another. Last Tuesday I was on an errand when it hit me. I was shaking, had a headache, and was clammy. I literally felt I was gonna die.

I got home and crashed. Jean-Luc could tell there was something amiss. I drank a pitcher of cold water and laid down for about an hour.

Other than that, I am still crying. I got into Boston Legal and I saw the finale. It made me cry even more. Nice ending.

Chiffie out.

Still Crying

Okay, so I'm still crying. So what do I do? I saw a movie where she has colon cancer and she has months to live.

I'm not in a good place right now. I'm still hoping for death, the final frontier. Bring it on, I can handle this.

I don't think of AIDS much. But every now and then I think about it. People do not die from AIDS, they die from other things, like cancer or pneumonia or a variety of other happy ways to go.

Okay, I'm back. I finally stopped crying with this movie, so I'm gonna have to start crying again. For no reason.

I'm lucky to have all these amazing people on my side. I love everybody in my life and want to thank you for allowing me into your lives.

Okay, I started crying again. What else can I do?

Chiffie out.

Crying

For some reason, I have been crying a lot lately. People will ask why I'm crying. I don't know. Maybe I'm fed up with my life right now.

I can't stop it, it just happens. Sometimes I forget that I'm crying and I cry some more.

I am tired of crying, but I have no control over it. It's just there, why, I don't know. I just need some Kleenex.

Chiffie out.

Futon

My futon is too big for this unit, so I went to Craig's List and put this for sale. It's gorgeous looking like something out of Architectural Digest.

This was Jean-Luc's favourite place where he liked to nap. Poor baby keeps sleeping where the futon where it used to be. Sad but funny. He's laying there in his preferred sunshine right now.

Chiflaco out.

Nutritionist

Went to the nutritionist today. She was happy that I gained a pound since last time. Funny that somebody is happy for my weight.

She also contacted someone to deliver Ensure at the house. These are nutritional and very tasty, kinda like a malt. So I came home last week to find 6 boxes of the stuff.

I did share with Mike and Eddie. They loved it also.

Chiffie out.

Drs Visits

I went first to see the podiatrist. He pared down the calluses and did my toe nails. I was happy.

He then suggested I go get a pedicure. I can do that. I'm content. I went from one hotie to another. I was happy.


Then I went to see hunky Dr Riley. They had a partial waiting for me and they adjusted it also.
When Dr Riley came over, I was in cloud 9. He's hot.

He has a firm handshake and I gave one in return. He looked at me with those blue eyes, I was melting. And I returned his gaze. He has this way of making me swoon.


Chiffie out.

Mental Day

I went to see Joey yesterday. It was a good session for me. We talked about getting out of the house to get rid of those feelings. He did say that my weight loss is due to depression. I never thought of that.

Like I said before, Joey is great. I'm getting more from him than I did with my previous therapist.

Chiffie out.

Weekend

This was a ho hum weekend. The best thing about this was I got to  get together with Mike and his beau.

We went to Luby's and pigged out. So there we were talking away and Mike made the comment that I want to be dead. So then we started talking about death.

Tony is Mike's beau and I really like him. He brought me a goody bag with a sampler and candles. Like I said, good guy.

Chiffie out.

Busy Day

Just when I had nothing to write, I actually have something to write about.

Went to the hunky dentist where I was trying my partial. It should be ready next week.

I came home to frijoles and rice. The lunch of champions.

Then I went to see Joey. We talked for an hour. I did tell him that I'm looking forward to death. I'm ready for it.

I do tell Mike these feelings. He says he doesn't know what to do with me. I tell him to pull the trigger. He has a gun. Then I can be happy.

Chiffie out.

Mental Health Day

I was busy today. I went to the library to get some DVDs and went to the pharmacy to pick up a psyche pill.

I also got to see Joey, my therapist. He wants me to step away and see how I am. He also wants me to leave my home and do something. My counter claim is that it's too hot and I have no money to do things.

Chiffie out.

Dr's Visit

Went to the clinic to get my results. My t-cell count dropped again to 129 and I'm still undetectable. I did ask about my blood pressure but he said I was okay and did not prescribe me anything.

Also saw the nutritionist and she was happy that I gained a pound and a half. She's still worried about my weight. I would like to lose ten or more pounds but she says I shouldn't because I'm big boned.

She also gave me a supply of Ensure. She wants me to have one at night.

Chiffie out.

Target

Joey gave me a gift card for Target. He thought I can get some groceries, but Target doesn't have that much of a selection.

So I schlepped to Target to see what I could find. I found 2 shirts that I wanted. I also bought some pillows.

I got on the bus coming home. When I got to my apartment, I found out that that bag stayed on the bus. Of course I called VIA but there was no way to contact the bus. I went by the VIA office and no one had turned it in.

This only happens to me. Just got to grin and bear it.

Chiffie out.

Dentist

I got a call from my dentist that they had a cancellation for cleaning today.

Dr R is one hot hunk. Sandy blond hair, piercing blue eyes. He also has a firm shake when I said hello. He actually remembers me from three years ago or so. He said I looked like I had lost weight. Baby!

So I had my teeth cleaned and we took an impression for a partial. I should have it within two weeks.

Chiffie out.

Sunday

Anybody that knows me knows how important I value the theatre. Mike and I went to the Majestic to see The Addams Family Sunday.

Being Mother's Day, he took me out for lunch at the Chinese Buffet. We stuffed our mouths and had a good visit.

Chiffie out.

Last Weekend

Don't know why I didn't blogged this. Monday I went to the podiatrist and he clipped my toe nails and prescribed something for my toe nails.

Tuesday I met with Joey, he's my new therapist at one of the agencies. He's really good. He allows me to talk but he does most of the talking. Still depressed though.

And Thursday I went with the psychiatrist at the clinic to get scripts for some meds I need. Also got a script for sleeping. I had my Ambien and it worked. I slept like a baby.

Chiflado.

Frustrated

Sometimes I feel like giving up. So many hurdles to cross. Being on disability is a full time job with me at the center.

I need one medication and the clinic I go to left a bad taste in my mouth. I have the empty bottle as proof that I need this. They said I need to talk to my physician about it.

And then there are eyeglasses. I was told that I could go to an eyeglass business and I would have to contact the agency.

So I went to the agency and they said I needed to fill out a form and I did. Now I have to wait.

Back in the day I was in charge of my medical needs. Now it's 'them' I have to deal with. Again, I feel like just giving up on everything. What's the point?

Just something else that makes me depressed.

Chiffie out.

Great Hair Day

I usually have my hair styled like the current gay haircut. Combed to the front with a little tuft up.

I haven't had my hair styled so I've been combing it to the back. My hair still looks good. People actually remarked on how great my hair looks.

I do get paid tomorrow so I'll go have my hair styled to the front again.

Chiffie out.

Therapy

I've been seeing a therapist at one of the agencies. He is great and I'm slowly getting comfortable with myself.

Last week he asked what song to associate my childhood. All I could think about was Strangers in The Night. LOL.

Then I went home and started thinking about it. I realized the music I liked was melancholy. The music soothed me and calmed me.

We still talked about music yesterday. He asked what song would I associate with. And I came up with a CW song, The One that Got Away. It does have an upbeat tempo.

Then I thought about The Man that Got Away by Judy. He found it in You Tube and of course I sang along with Judy.

More later.

Chiffie out.

Ruben

Ruben is a sweet heart. Don't remember when we started talking. He's being evicted, May 7. We feel like family is moving out.

Apparently, he had some fine that managers didn't tell him about.


Plus the fine was around $35 late fee and $10 a day. He talked to the Witch that works here. And she said she'd already filed the eviction at the court house.

His ex pulled up the carpet and left him. He also has a dog that barks all day. He didn't know it until he was using my computer, he had no idea.

Never a dull moment at the Hotel Viceroy for nuts and sluts. Of course I fit in both  characters. I really am gonna miss him. 

Did I mention that he has the most infectious smile. Plus he's got the right amount of junk in his trunk. And he does have a nice bubble butt.

Really hate to see him go. 

Chiffie